I have a love/hate relationship with Facebook and have found myself recently committing sins very close to those I abhor - discussing my children too much, posting too many pictures of children, blah blah blah, but do you know the current Worst Facebook Sin?

Being there, having a Facebook page (with, inevitably, a profile photo taken more than two years ago (shhh don’t ask me when my twitter icon was taken…))  and being almost entirely silent. Never commenting, never wishing someone a happy birthday, and not EVEN bothering to click on that obnoxious four letter word “like." 

What is the real-world equivalent of this behavior? The best I can come up with is some creeper who stands NEAR conversations, someone who notices his or her coworkers conversing near the proverbial water cooler and then just… watches. Not even nodding along or offering a tap on the shoulder to anyone involved in the physical act of conversing, but just… standing there and watching.

Since we all know someone (or more likely, many someones) who behave this way on Facebook… and honestly, I’m positive we all exhibit this behavior at some point by not participating in certain persons’ Facebook life, or perhaps we go through phases of not Facebooking, etc… is there a course of action to take? 

In our real-world scenario, what would you do if someone creeped on your conversation? I would either try to include them, or stop conversing all together. 

Ay, there’s the rub, innit? How do we draw out those reluctant to invest time into social media, and probably more importantly, when we can’t draw out the creepers, how do we stop conversing so as to discourage creeping? Or do we just… let the Creep creep on?

Sifted through some memories today, and I think I once described myself as idealistic. I left out naive, and obviously clueless because at the time I didn’t drink coffee. I have dear, dear friends and a wonderful husband who doesn’t drink coffee, so I say with all the love on my heart: Don’t trust someone who doesn’t admit to drinking coffee. Their ability to stay awake in the morning will grate your nerves beyond what a cup of fake happiness can overlook.

Secondly, if that person doesn’t eat chocolate… Yeah, their emotional capacity for coping is beyond human; consider reporting them to the FBI.. Or at least the Enquirer.

It’s that there’s just been too much… it’s like being hungry at a wedding buffet. I get too excited, stand in line at the bar and eventually I remember that I was supposed to fill up a plate with food. But by then all the good stuff is gone. 

So I’m just going to stream-of-conscious get it all out and start afresh tomorrow:

Miley is not as gross as #Thicke, but I still wouldn’t let her touch me, the term “post-baby body” is only slightly less over-used than “in case you missed it” and both are code for “look over there! something more interesting than me!”, and asking for parenting advice on Facebook has provided a terrific opportunity for me to flaunt my favorite terms for female genitalia. Oh, and yes, I believe that Tswizzle may be the most undatable woman in Fameville.